My sister tells a story about asking one of her young sons to stop doing something. He looked up with his clear wide eyes and said But Mama, it’s fun!

I think of that often when I’m trying to improve some habit.

The third and fourth yama (restraint) in Patanjali’s system are asteya and brahmacharya. Asteya means not taking what doesn’t belong to you and brahmacharya means chastity or non-exploitive sexuality that is appropriate to one’s station. But I want to think about these two yamas together as they stem from a deeper root: desire.

Desire (or attraction) and its opposite, aversion, are twin sides of the same coin. (In Sanskrit, they are raga and dvesa.) We are emotional creatures and we have an emotional reaction to almost everything. We like it and want more. We don’t like it and want to avoid it in the future. Emotions make life rich and juicy, and freely flowing emotions are characteristic of vitality.

But always acting on freely flowing emotions is a recipe for a life of drama, confusion, and pain. The problem of attraction and aversion is heightened in a society where much of what we crave is right there for the taking. Food, alcohol, drugs, and ego-gratifying achievements are sometimes so accessible we scratch before we even really notice the itch.

Spiritual practices usually have some traditions of austerity — fasting or other sacrifices, like giving something up for Lent. Practicing self-denial offers the opportunity to feel the power and the ephemerality of desire. As yogis, we want to be sensitive, to feel everything — anger, fear, joy, awe. But when it comes time to act, we make an effort to choose our actions thoughtfully.

Homework

This week really notice your emotions as you practice, but don’t be guided by them. Choose your sequence rather than improvising and time your poses rather than finishing when you feel like it. As you practice, observe your emotions without judgement. Do they change over time?

Please note, pain is not an emotion; it is an important communication. Don’t ignore it.

virabhadrasana 1, virasana and supta virasana, prasarita padottanasana