I just got the edits on my novel back from the publisher. Don’t hold your breath; the novel won’t come out until 2025, but getting it written and published at all still makes me proud. I have meant to write a novel since I was a little girl. Other things took precedence until my children were grown and launched. When I finally sat down to it, I knew it would be time-consuming and probably frustrating, and everything I read suggested that making myself accountable was key. Unfortunately, no one but me cared if I wrote that novel. Accountable to what?

I briefly partnered with my sister, but at our first check-in, she hadn’t met her goals. TDL, she said, and changed the subject. TDL? She translated for me: Too Damned Lazy. She wasn’t interested in an accountability partnership after that, and I don’t blame her. Who wants to expose themselves to judgement and condemnation?

Last blog, I talked about self-study (svadyaya, the second act of yoga after effort). The difficulty with self-study is that when we observe ourselves, we are often critical. There may be reasons, but it isn’t helpful. It isn’t helpful to have a partner who is always congratulatory either.

The purpose of accountability isn’t judgement, it’s guidance.

This brings us to the third and final act of yoga: surrender (Ishvara pranidhana). It’s the most difficult, learning to let go of all that doesn’t serve. It’s not hard to discern what serves us. Effort serves to get us started. Self-study serves to get us learning. That’s it. You set a goal and make your effort and observe. If you did not meet your goal, study yourself to understand why. Fatigue? Time crunch? Emotional resistance? Maybe the goal was unrealistic? There’s a reason there somewhere; you’ll never find it by deciding that you’re too damned lazy.